Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
