It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
