i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize