oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
