Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I can text with my tongue
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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