I am puke
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She bit a glass in half.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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