just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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