do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
