im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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