Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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