Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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