how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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