I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
