took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just made my gag reflex go away.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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