alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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