The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Randomize
