Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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