he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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