i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
