In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
