What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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