Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
