Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
