you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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