But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
