Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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