I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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