u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
