i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
love makes seman taste better
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
