waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
