I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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