she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize