As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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