is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
