You were right. It hurts to walk today.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
