Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Randomize