I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
