I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
