I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
