i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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