I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize