Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize