the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
