Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
