i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
