i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
