I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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