i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
