I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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