I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I think I am morally bankrupt
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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