I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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