My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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