Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
