College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
