how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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