btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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